Four-Year Transpacific Journey to Parenthood: Same-Sex Couple Achieves Fatherhood After 3 Failed Attempts!

“Same-sex families are inherently different from other families, and the path to parenthood is naturally more challenging. There were moments of disappointment and thoughts of giving up, but the moment we saw our child, everything became worth it.” — Mr. J

On the journey to parenthood, some experience smooth sailing, while others face twists and turns. From feeling lost to regaining hope, sometimes all it takes is the right choice. Trust that when the day comes to realize your dream, all the struggles will transform into beautiful memories.

Mr. J and his husband, a Chinese couple residing in Taiwan, found the decision to become fathers a natural progression. Together for over a decade, they legally registered as a married couple in 2019 following the legalization of same-sex marriage in Taiwan. Over the years, they had discussed having children, and thus began considering surrogacy. However, as surrogacy is illegal in Taiwan, pursuing it locally was impossible.

For this couple, the greatest challenge was: how could they have their own child?

1. Failures and Challenges on the International Path to Parenthood

Before 2019, Mr. J and his husband began exploring surrogacy as a means to become fathers. Through online research, they learned about the possibility of surrogacy in the United States and started contacting surrogacy agencies and egg banks. Anonymous egg donors offered them countless options, and the egg banks provided detailed, precise classifications.

After careful consideration, in August 2019, they selected agencies and flew to the United States. Once there, they underwent medical examinations, met potential egg donors, provided sperm samples, and selected a surrogate. The process went smoothly, and they were both excited and nervous.

In early September, Mr. J received reports on embryo development and obtained three healthy embryos, ready for transfer. Unfortunately, luck did not favor them initially — the first two embryo transfers failed, and although the third transfer initially succeeded, the pregnancy had to be terminated for various reasons. Repeated successes and failures left the couple physically and emotionally exhausted, leading them to temporarily pause their surrogacy journey.

2. Perseverance Leads to Joy

“I will do everything I can to realize my dream of becoming a father, even if the road is full of challenges.” — Mr. J

After taking time to regroup and reflect for a year, in 2021, Mr. J and his husband, through a friend’s introduction, restarted their surrogacy journey. After selecting a new clinic, choosing a surrogate, undergoing sperm and egg collection, and completing embryo cultivation, they obtained four healthy embryos. Their first transfer was successful.

Having experienced previous failures, they remained cautious even after the successful transfer, frequently checking in with staff. Although β-HCG levels fluctuated during the process, fortunately, everything proceeded safely. To prepare for their son’s arrival, the couple even attended newborn care classes at the local hospital.

In June 2022, Mr. J and his husband finally welcomed the baby they had long awaited. Seeing him for the first time, Mr. J said: “This journey was far from smooth, but the arrival of our child is my greatest fortune. Seeing him, I am grateful I persevered.”